The Kamasutra, one of the most ancient and profound texts on human intimacy and relationships, offers a wealth of knowledge about the art of love, including the subtle and detailed acts of kissing. Among the various types of kisses described in the text, the kiss of the upper lip holds a distinct place due to its elegance, tenderness, and emotional intimacy. This kiss is not just an act of affection but a deliberate gesture that signifies desire, control, and sensual connection.
In this exploration of the kiss of the upper lip, we will delve into its significance in the Kamasutra, the emotions it conveys, how it is performed, its psychological and physiological effects, and how it fits into the broader canvas of romantic and erotic expression.
Understanding Kissing in the Kamasutra
Before analyzing the kiss of the upper lip specifically, it is essential to understand how the Kamasutra views kissing as a whole. Composed by the ancient Indian philosopher Vatsyayana, the Kamasutra is not just a sex manual but a guide to living a full and sensual life. Kissing, in this context, is a powerful tool of emotional bonding, foreplay, and spiritual union.
Vatsyayana categorizes kisses into multiple types, each based on emotional states, mutual consent, timing, and technique. The kiss is an invitation—subtle or passionate—to deeper engagement. It is said to awaken the senses, stimulate desire, and nurture trust between lovers.
The Kiss of the Upper Lip – Definition and Meaning
The kiss of the upper lip—referred to in Sanskrit as uttama oshtha chumbana—involves one lover gently and passionately kissing or sucking only the upper lip of their partner. According to the Kamasutra, this kiss is most often initiated by the more assertive or dominant partner, signifying both adoration and possession.
This kiss is laden with symbolism:
- Sensual Control: By isolating the upper lip, the initiator asserts dominance in a subtle yet seductive way.
- Tenderness and Focus: It reveals a lover’s desire to cherish and prolong the moment, paying detailed attention to every part of the partner’s body.
- Teasing Foreplay: It can serve as an opening act, igniting curiosity and building anticipation for deeper kisses or other forms of intimacy.
Performing the Kiss of the Upper Lip
The art of kissing the upper lip lies in intention and technique. Here are steps and nuances as mentioned in traditional interpretations and adapted for modern understanding:
Eye Contact and Proximity
The kiss begins long before lips touch. Lovers gaze into each other’s eyes, exchanging silent messages. The space between them narrows, creating an electric atmosphere.
Gentle Approach
The initiator moves in slowly, allowing both parties to feel the rising tension. The lips part slightly—not in eagerness, but in receptivity.
Focusing on the Upper Lip
The initiator then places their lips softly on the partner’s upper lip, drawing it into their own. The pressure may vary—from feather-light to firm—depending on the emotion being expressed.
Sucking or Nibbling
A light suck or gentle bite can add intensity. This is where the kiss becomes an interplay of tenderness and playful eroticism.
Breath and Rhythm
The rhythm of breathing, pauses, and silence all contribute to the sensual nature of the act. Prolonged upper lip kissing can lead to deep emotional connection.
Symbolism in Ancient Texts and Commentary
In classical Sanskrit literature and commentaries on the Kamasutra, the kiss of the upper lip is sometimes seen as a metaphor for devotion and surrender. The upper lip, being physically above the lower, is also linked to notions of superiority, divine affection, or aesthetic reverence.
This type of kiss is often associated with the first moments of passion between new lovers, or as a reaffirmation of love in long-standing relationships. It symbolizes the gentle fire that sustains intimacy without overwhelming it.
Emotional and Psychological Significance
Unlike a hurried or full-mouth kiss, the kiss of the upper lip carries emotional depth. Psychologists studying non-verbal cues in romantic behavior suggest that such focused acts reflect:
- Attentiveness: The initiator is completely present in the moment.
- Patience: This kiss suggests taking time, being deliberate.
- Vulnerability: The partner receiving the kiss feels cherished, often closing their eyes and giving in to the sensation.
It is a kiss of emotional intimacy, not just physical arousal.
Erotic Timing and Foreplay
In the structure of erotic interaction, the Kamasutra places great emphasis on gradual escalation. The kiss of the upper lip is considered a starting point—a flame lit at the wick of desire. When used early in an encounter:
- It builds sexual tension without overwhelming.
- It initiates trust, preparing the body and mind for deeper connection.
- It allows both partners to synchronize with each other emotionally and physically.
In advanced lovemaking, it may appear again as a pausing technique—to slow down, reconnect, or offer relief from intense stimulation.
Variations and Mutual Exchange
Though traditionally the dominant partner initiates the upper lip kiss, the Kamasutra also speaks of reciprocal kisses, where roles alternate:
- The woman may respond by kissing the man’s upper lip in return, signaling mutual desire.
- This exchange creates a rhythmic dance, each partner taking turns in leading and surrendering.
- It fosters equality in passion, reinforcing emotional security and openness.
Cultural Depictions and Interpretations
Ancient Indian sculpture and paintings—particularly from the Khajuraho and Konark temples—depict lovers in mid-embrace, sometimes focusing on kisses and affectionate touch. The kiss of the upper lip can often be interpreted from such imagery as part of a larger sensual tableau.
In Indian poetry, especially in Rasas (aesthetic moods), this kiss is linked to the Shringara Rasa—the rasa of love, beauty, and eroticism. Poets like Kalidasa used metaphors of bees and flowers to suggest lips meeting delicately, with one resting or feeding off the other—analogous to this type of kiss.
Physiological Effects
The act of kissing, especially focused types like the kiss of the upper lip, releases chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin:
- Dopamine boosts excitement and desire.
- Oxytocin fosters bonding and trust.
- Serotonin enhances mood and emotional stability.
Moreover, the act increases heart rate, dilates pupils, and awakens erogenous zones—particularly in the lips and skin. The precise targeting of the upper lip makes the sensation concentrated, creating a heightened sensory experience.
Modern Application in Relationships
Even in modern relationships, where the chaos of life can dull romantic gestures, practicing such delicate forms of affection can revive intimacy. The kiss of the upper lip can be:
- A daily ritual between partners.
- A way to initiate reconnection after an argument.
- A method of expressing longing when full physical intimacy isn’t possible.
It brings mindfulness into relationships—reminding lovers to pause, touch, feel, and cherish
Gender Dynamics and Role Reversals
Though the Kamasutra outlines gendered roles in certain kisses, including the upper lip kiss often being initiated by the man, it does not restrict women from leading. Modern readings encourage both partners to explore this kiss regardless of gender.
This flexibility allows for a more egalitarian view of pleasure—where initiating affection is an act of empowerment for anyone. Queer interpretations of the Kamasutra also welcome such kisses as universal acts of human connection.
Artistic Representation in Literature and Film
Many romantic films and literary works, even outside of Indian culture, feature the upper lip kiss subtly. From the parted-lip kisses in classic cinema to the close-up intimate shots in poetry-laden films, the upper lip kiss appears when filmmakers or authors wish to convey:
- First love
- Unspoken longing
- A climax of emotional tension
In literature, particularly romantic novels, lines like “he kissed only her upper lip, savoring the tremble of anticipation” signal deep emotional intent.
Barriers and Misunderstandings
Some modern lovers may overlook or misunderstand the power of subtle kisses. Fast-paced encounters or media portrayals of aggressive affection often leave out the grace of a simple upper lip kiss. The result?
- Impatience in intimacy
- Loss of nuanced expression
- Undervaluing emotional foreplay
The kiss of the upper lip reminds us to slow down, pay attention, and re-sensitize ourselves to touch.
Exercises and Practices
To incorporate the kiss of the upper lip into your relationship, consider:
- The One-Minute Kiss Ritual: Spend one full minute focusing only on each other’s upper lips. No talking. Just feeling.
- Mutual Mirroring: Alternate upper lip kisses, observing each other’s reactions.
- Post-Kiss Reflection: After sharing the kiss, close your eyes and express what you felt in a single word.
These practices heighten emotional awareness and cultivate deeper affection.
Conclusion
The kiss of the upper lip, though small in action, is monumental in meaning. Rooted in the ancient wisdom of the Kamasutra, it speaks the language of subtle seduction, focused affection, and timeless love. In a world often rushing through moments, this kiss invites us to be present—to connect lip to lip, heart to heart, breath to breath.
It is not just a kiss—it is a meditation in touch, a whisper of desire, a testament to the art of loving slowly.
